I Had To Take a Benzo and That Is Okay (For Me and You)!

I Had To Take a Benzo and That Is Okay (For Me and You)!

Mental illness comes with a lot of stigma. This is very unfortunate.

There are people who are struggling inside themselves but feel ashamed to get help. I have been there. It only makes things worse.

I went through a mental health crisis a couple of nights ago wherein, I had to take a medication. For this post, I wanted to talk more about the situation.

It was a terrible night to say the least

I was having a great day with my family. So, I did not expect to have what happened, happen.

I laid down and checked my favorite gossip site like I usually do. Suddenly, my mind was overcome with this feeling of dread and hopelessness. Completely out of nowhere.

I tried to just lay there and ride it out, but I could not. The feelings were overwhelming, and I had to get up. I then proceeded to pace around extremely fast.

Everything felt wrong with me, with the world. I began to scream and cry.

I had to run, and I did. I ran out the door and onto the street. Still screaming, still crying. I do not know if the neighbors heard me or not. I can not imagine what they were thinking if they did.

My husband came to get me and brought me back into the house. He was really worried about me.

Panic attacks and anxiety cause physical symptoms in me too. This meant that I also experienced extreme nausea, shortness of breath, racing heart, lightheadedness and shaking. Not fun!

This was a serious panic attack (I have had more mild ones) and I needed to do something about it. I made the hard decision to take some Valium.

What is Valium?

Most people have heard of Valium before. This is especially true if they have any experience with mental health issues.

It is in the class of drugs called, benzodiazepines. These medications work to provide a calming effect to our minds which in turn helps our bodies out too in certain cases. They are most commonly used for anxiety, panic attacks and seizures.

Benzodiazepines are not without their dangers (like a lot of other drugs). They have side effects which include drowsiness, headaches, abdominal cramps, dizziness and clumsiness. Dependency is another issue with them as many people have become addicted.

Valium is one of the weakest benzodiazepines and has a long half-life (takes a long time for half of it to be metabolized in the body). Tolerance to it can also build up pretty quickly with its use so it is not always good to take long term.

Why it was so hard for me take it

I used to have horrible panic attacks every month around the time of my period. Because of this I was given Valium prescriptions. The dose for me is ΒΌ of a pill.

I have felt ashamed about needing them once in a while. This is due to the stigma that is attached to mental health problems and the medications that help with them.

I keep refilling the prescription anyways despite rarely ever using them because they do expire after a while.

I hated like hell that I had to take Valium that night, but I needed relief. There was no way I could continue on like that and who knows how long it would last.

It worked

Valium does work very well for me-even at the super tiny dose that I take. Within about 30 minutes, I felt calmness wash over me.

I stopped pacing, screaming and crying. My mind started getting the break it needed.

I finally felt as though I could lay down. When I did, the relief I was looking for continued to come over me. Wrapped in its warmth, I fell asleep.

It is okay to treat a mental health condition

 The stigma that comes with mental health conditions need to go! It makes things worse for people and then they continue to suffer in silence.

I am trying to get over feeling bad about the fact that I suffer with my mental health at times. It is unfortunate because I and many others should not feel ashamed. No one should make us feel ashamed either!

Mental health issues can strike anyone at any time. This fact, this truth-needs to be normalized.

We should be able to have open and honest conversations about what we are experiencing without being looked down upon.

Do not be afraid to seek help

If you are struggling with your mental health, please do not hesitate to get help. If someone you know is struggling with their mental health, support them in any way you can.

Everyone deserves to have the best life they possibly can which means having their mental health taken care of.

Have you ever taken Valium or any other type of benzodiazepine?

Thanks for reading!

#mentalhealth  #struggling  #panicattack  #anxiety  #medication

I Tried CBD

I Tried CBD

Hearing and reading about all of the benefits of CBD had me interested in trying it. Products that contain it seem to be promoted everywhere with lists of all that it can do for a person. Unfortunately, the research is lacking on whether or not it does all the great things it is touted as doing (see here: https://www.sciencenews.org/article/cbd-product-boom-science-research-hemp-marijuana).

A while ago, I did experiment with it because I wanted to see if it would provide relief for my anxiety and/or monthly migraine. I tried it in three different forms and the following is my experience with each of them.


I purchased a vape pen with CBD oil. It was not hard to figure out how to use the pen but it is definitely not pleasant in my opinion.

This is considered the fastest way to get it into your system (see here: https://www.dixiebotanicals.com/heres-how-to-get-the-fastest-results-from-cbd-oil/ ). At the time I vaped, I was experiencing some anxiety that I usually get a few days before my period.

I knew to not expect any strong effects that marijuana gives but I did not feel any difference at all. My anxiety was still at the same level and did not go down. I vaped every night for three weeks straight with no results.

CBD oil under my tongue

So taking it this way is super simple-just squirt it under your tongue. This is supposed to take a little longer to work than vaping but it still should be pretty quick.

There was absolutely no relief for me in taking it this way. The pain and anxiety level stayed the same. I gave it a try for three weeks with no changes whatsoever.

CBD gummies

I purchased these: https://hempbombs.com/product/hemp-bombs-15-count-cbd-gummies/. They look yummy and colorful so I had to make sure that my son did not see them as I was taking one out. They have another gummy product that is of a higher potency but I decided to try their regular ones.

These gummies do contain things in it other than just the CBD (L-theanine, Skullcaps and passion flower). Since I did not know how my body would react to the other ingredients I decided to just eat half of one.

About 30 minutes after eating part of the gummy, I could barely open my eyes. It was like my eye lids were made of lead. I also felt lightheaded and had to lay down. This was a really unpleasant experience for me.

In terms of anxiety, there was no relief again. I just felt messed up. It could have been the extra ingredients included in the gummies that made me feel this way.

I did not feel like taking anymore after the first experience.

In conclusion

CBD products just did not work for me at all. I knew not to expect THC level effects but I still thought I might feel some relief. It was disappointing.

I am really glad that other people are experiencing benefits from using CBD. If it works, it seems like it would be a great choice since the reported negative side effects are not as bad as the ones that prescription medication can cause.